Today on the Doggy Blog, a ranking of the best tricks/commands that dogs can do!
- SIT. The command that starts it all. Without this, you don't really have a dog, just a hairy beast that lives in your house that you feed and take outside to use the bathroom. SIT is both the calming spell that you can cast on a overactive puppy AND the old wizened dog who wants a treat a lil too bad. 9/10.
- SHAKE. SHAKE is a bit of a novelty, but it has always been the next logical step after SIT in my mind. If you meet a dog for the first time and it can SIT and SHAKE, you have a dog smarter than some humans. Plus, nothing feels cooler than shakin' paws with a dog. 8/10
- HIGH FIVE. Some may consider this an elevated form of SHAKE because it's a "cooler" move than a handshake but I disagree thoroughly. The HIGH FIVE is essentially just a paw-to-hand tap that lasts a second while the SHAKE maneuver involves keeping the paw connected to the hand and then going vigorously up and down. An obvious hierarchy there. 6/10.
- DOWN. The evolved form of SIT. The SIT command can branch off into either SHAKE or DOWN depending on what kinda day you want to have. Feeling fun? Go with SHAKE. Want to have a more chill afternoon? Give DOWN a try. Plus DOWN allows you to go to the grand poobah of commands: ROLL OVER. 7/10.
- ROLL OVER. I dare you to watch a dog execute a crisp ROLL OVER and not smile. It's impossible. In fact you'll probably start merrily laughing and clapping your knee. Bonus points if your dog has a good amount of floof to him or her, because that just accents the glorious movement. And I have a strong feeling the pup likes it too, given the expression plastered on said pup's face post ROLL OVER. 10/10.
- WALTZ. This is what I've taken to calling the move where your pup of choice hops up and you snatch its paws out of the air and then you both do a little dance. Whenever I do this, it resembles a poor man's WALTZ. Couple steps that way, couple steps this way, all while humming in 3/4 time. It's a grand move, but ultimately not really a command and maybe not good for doglegs if performed for significant lengths of time. 4/10.
- FETCH. Perhaps the only command more canonical than SIT in a dog's repertoire. FETCH, SIT, naming dogs Rover, dogs enjoying bow tie shaped bones, and dogs hating cats are the top 5 dog stereotypes for sure. FETCH is a portal to hours of fun with your dog. You just pick up pretty much anything and throw it as far as you can and your pup dutifully runs and gets it and brings it back to you and drops it. Then you just repeat that for as long as you want. It's a blast. 10/10.
- SPEAK. Not a great command, dogs bark all the time anyways! Or they don't. Either way, avoid this one. 1/10.
- PLAY DEAD. The backwards reverse DOWN. This is where your dog slumps over on its side, or if you have a flexible pupper, on its back and PLAYS DEAD. Sometimes their legs stick up or out and that' cute (if not a little morbid). A cute little display to be sure, but we don't want to be pretending our dogs are deceased now do we? 5/10.
- KISS. A great command! In all likelihood, your dog already slobbers all over you all the time (if you're lucky) so you probably don't need it. But if you do, definitely try this one out, dog kisses are the best. 11/10.
I'm not entirely sure what we achieved here, but I had a great time. Hope you enjoyed this little bit of canine mirth! Enjoy your Wednesday!