Struggled a bit with the title on this one. There are somehow too many and too few puns with the name Finn, who just happens to be the pooch I'm focusing on today. In fact, I'll give you a glimpse into just how much work goes into writing one of these with a list of other considered titles:
- First to FINNish, last to start
- Nice dogs FINNish last
- A fight to the FINNish
- FINNishing touches
- FINN de siècle
- FINNcredible edible egg
Yes, those are all amazing titles that would surely have elicited a chuckle (or a groan, we do not discriminate over here), but ultimately I decided on the Adventure Time–themed title you see above. This is partly because Adventure Time contains one of the only Finns in popular culture (other than a minor character in noted Birmingham crime drama Peaky Blinders) and also because Adventure Time is fantastic and you should be watching it.
Full disclosure: in the show, FINN is the human with the white hat and JAKE is the yellow dog. I figured that since we're all friends here, I would be fine to take some creative liberties.
That being said, Finn is a doggo that most embodies the frenetic enthusiasm typically present in a Saturday morning children's cartoon. When you walk in the door he is nowhere to be found, but that doesn't last long. Once you round the corner to the living room, he attempts to not only leap into your arms, but often times over your head. He then literally spins his way back towards the door and eagerly waits for his leash to be laid upon his scruffy dome. Often times he makes a face like this:
This inimitable verve continues as we make our way outside, ready to take on the day and probably pee on some of it (him not me). Finn is not a large dog, but he has the core strength of a musk ox on amphetamine. Not to say he's a bad walker, I just think 90% of his brain is a kind of pulsing yellow glow of pure zeal for the outdoors and he just NEEDS to smell every blade of grass and try to EAT every leaf and then PEE on every blade of grass and leaf too. I do not blame him for this and in fact I am profoundly jealous.
This is not to say Finn does not have his quiet moments:
Perhaps this is becoming a bit of a cliché at this point (it is DEFINITELY a cliché) but Finn LOVES to charge at squirrels. This is common to pretty much every canine I've walked, with the exception of some older dogs who just can't be bothered. However, I find that it is EXTREMELY prevalent amongst those doggos and puppers of the terrier variety. This makes sense, as terriers were bred to seek and destroy any and all rodentia. It is purely a human bias that allows us to see rats as horribly disgusting pests that carry plague and squirrels as friendly tree dwellers who just can't seem to remember where they hid that last walnut. Squirrels are tree rats with fluffy tails. Dogs see past the tails. Dogs know that they're the same. Dogs know that the only reason that squirrels haven't caused the modern black plague is because they just haven't gotten their grubby little hands on the right pathogen yet. Dogs know that the day will come when the squirrels turn. Dogs know, man. And they're practicing, staying ever vigilant for that day. Finn is a proud member of this vanguard, and he knows that the only reason he hasn't caught one of those evil squirrels is because I'm holding him back. But someday that leash won't be there.
Once again, the Doggy Blog has gotten away from me.
We can boil this whole post down into 4 main points:
- Dogs are great.
- Finn is great.
- Adventure Time is great.
- Fuck squirrels.