Meet Frankie.
WE ARE AT CUTE-CON 1. DEF-CUTE 1? EITHER WAY SHE’S SO CUTE.
Did you die after seeing that? Perhaps by SQUEEing so hard that you popped a vessel? Some people simply expire after looking upon Frankie’s adorable visage. In fact, I suspect that she is some type of dog medusa that melts peoples hearts instead of turning them to stone. Instead of snakes for hair she has fuzzy lil earflaps. Instead of a sword she has a swishy swooshy tail. I know, I know. It’s groundbreaking and controversial to say, IN PUBLIC ESPECIALLY, that puppies are cute—but Frankie really stands out amongst the hoi polloi.
HOW CUTE BE SHE? LET ME COUNT THE WAYS:
She is a Labrador puppy
Just a GREAT place to start in the cuteness department
Solid head tilt
Most important quality of a lab puppy IMHO
Teensy lil white socks on her paws
Not sure why a dog needs socks, but she’s got ‘em and they’re magnificent
Slightly brindled coat
Hard to see in this picture, but it adds a splendid mahogany
contrast to her otherwise jet black “goth” look
Extremely soft nose
Guys, her nose is just so DAMN SOFT
She is very chill and independent
She is just as much at home sitting and cuddling on a landing as she is sniffing the trunk of a tree, and that’s just adorable
SO WELL BEHAVED
She loves to sit, she doesn’t bark, she scoots right back into her crate and criss-crosses her paws, she can almost sorta do “shake” if you consider “shake” to be licking my hand and then falling over
Headshape 1: “Chill Ears”
Headshape 2: “Earodynamic”
For me, that last category is really the big winner for Frankie. She is the most well behaved and chill puppy I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting. Most young doggos are absolute SPASTICS. They’re eating trash. They’re jumping up on strangers. They’re attempting to get in strollers and kick out the baby in an attempt to gain the love and food of an additional family. Ya know, just generally losing their shit at being ALIVE, BABY.
And I get it. The world is full of fun things like wind, squirrels, and food wrappers BUT CAN YOU ALL JUST CHILL FOR A SECOND THE LEASH IS WRAPPED AROUND MY LEGS AND NOW I’VE FALLEN. Frankie is not like this however. Frankie is a warm cup of tea on a rainy day. Frankie is a windchime slowly ringing in the breeze. Frankie is a muscle relaxer and a glass of wine. Frankie is CHILLLLLL. She goes with the flow and it’s frankly (get it?), very refreshing.
Upon meeting her for the first time, she was super loving and yet demure. Sort of like what I imagine Audrey Hepburn would have been like if she was a Labrador puppy. Also like Audrey Hepburn, she didn’t jump up on my legs and start gnawing on my kneecap but rather just gently licked my hand. Too weird? No matter.
Our first walk was swell, she kept up with me perfectly and with some light leash adjustments, we scampered along like two professionals. She’s also totally willing to stop and just hang out for a while. Perhaps most importantly, if you EVEN LIGHTLY start scritching her side she dutifully flops over and GOES IN for bellyrubs. In fact, if I hadn’t encouraged her to get back up on all fours, we’d probably still be there on the pavement. She’s great at going back home too. She doesn’t run ahead or freak out or anything, and once we’re back in her place she saunters over to her crate and jumps in without much provocation. It’s amazing. She deserves each and every treat she gets.
Presented in diptych.
For maximum cuteness.
Frankie basically exhibits all characteristics of an old salty veteran doggo in the body of a spry youthful pupper. It’s amazing. Here’s to you Frankie!
—Sean